The "N" Word.
On the last overcast Sunday afternoon of Black History Month this year, I attended a town-hall meeting at the famed Apollo Theater in Harlem entitled "Trial by Jury, Case of the "N" word." The discussion was whether or not the word was acceptable to use and if so, in what context and by whom? As you can already imagine, the conversation went left but in a generally civilized way.
The meeting focused on a fictional court case with the plaintiff as an African-American man suing his daughter's expensive private school for exposing her to the "N" word at the tender age of 9. The defendant was the school stating they let teachers have free reign and if the teacher deemed it necessary, she could teach a Civil Rights unit that included the word.
The discussion and arguments both among the crowd and in the fictional case, of which was filmed, were varied. As for the film, it came down to whether or not the 9-year old had been harmed by the word and whether or not the school should be held accountable. Some good points were made in that parents should have some say, especially black parents, over when their children learn such terminology and by what means. The issue of what happens when it's taken outside the classroom also arose.
The discussion amongst the crowd at the Apollo turned from the use of the "N" word in the case to the use of the "N" word in general. There were a slightly surprising amount of people, all men I might add, who felt it was socially acceptable to call another black man the "N" word if it came from a place of love and fraternity. The comedian Touré and Dr. Jeff Gardere, a male psychologist, were two of the biggest proponents of this use. The majority of those on the opposite end of this argument, admittedly myself included, felt the word is totally unacceptable and should not be used in any context.
Some thought since the world proliferates in popular music today we should let it be. Others were taken with the idea of only blacks using it with other blacks. One comment in particular that was made by a seemingly ill-informed DJ and radio host stated that because he's West Indian, he does use the word but his people didn't experience slavery so it doesn't mean the same thing to him. The uproar that ensued after that statement was interesting. Personally, it discredited everything he said afterward which wasn't much. I'm not West Indian and as such don't claim to be knowledgeable about the slave trade in that area of the world, but I do at least know it was horrific and I am aware that it happened. One of the speakers, Professor Sterling of the Black Studies department at City College, made an excellent point when she asked a simple question. "Why that word?" Why could not another word be used? My brother? My friend? Fam? Homie? Playboy? Gangsta? The person's actual name? Any of those are acceptable but not, the "N" word. This segued into a discussion on whether or not the word has been reclaimed as well as it's use among other communities. No, if you're white or any other color besides black, you should not use this word. But in the same vein, I don't believe you should use it if you're black either. I also have to disagree with the posited idea the "N" word has been reclaimed. Negative. False. Absolutely untrue. It's similar to the word "bitch." It's a very hard task and you're always going to have someone attempting and succeeding to use it in a derogatory manner and revert it back to it's basest form.
One comment in particular that had even me up in arms and screaming was stated by a young black man. The following is a paraphrasing of what he said, unfortunately his last comments were completely lost on everyone because we were all loudly informed him he was incorrect:
"You let people call you black, you let them call you African-American. How is being called the "N" word any different?"
As if the Black Panther/Black Pride movement never took place reclaiming the word. That gentleman could not have been more wrong. The "N" word has so much more of a negative meaning, a negative connotation, both insidious and blatantly terrible condescension attached.
Another argument by Dr. Gardere was also pushed to the fore was one of self-hate as a personal reason for why the word is unacceptable to some. I don't believe I have an ounce of self-hate. Do I doubt, do I question, do I internalize and over-think everything I do? Yes. I have no problem admitting this. But I've worked hard to overcome the issues I had as a young, black girl growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood, at predominantly white schools, and in predominantly white churches (until high school). I now fully embrace and accept my blackness. As DeRay McKesson tweets daily, "I love my blackness and yours," and think of it as a phenomenal affirmation. What I do hate is everything that word stands for. I can't stand to hear it used and if someone uses it in reference to me, things escalate at an accelerated rate. Not to mention the fact that I've had a personal experience with the word. It was directed at me, at the ripe, though not terribly young, age of 15 while walking in the neighborhood I'd grown up in since I was 6. That experience however, has no bearing on my use, or lack thereof, of the word though another audience member tried to say that was their reasoning behind not minding the use of the word. Personal experience or not, I simply do not wish to be mentioned in the same breath as something that stands for slavery, hate, the misuse and distrust of black people, the immediate stereotyping and categorization of such a colorful and dynamic race, the belittling and assumption of a lack of intelligence, willpower and know-how, and the blatant disrespect that are all attached to that one little 6-letter word.
The conclusion of the case was that though the parents had the right to be upset about the word being taught to their daughter without their consent, there was no physical harm visibly done to the child.
However the takeaway from the event on the whole is equally as strong and telling as this fictional case. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but you're not safe from words either.
CLICK HERE >> This is a link for more events slated for the 2016-17 season at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY.
The meeting focused on a fictional court case with the plaintiff as an African-American man suing his daughter's expensive private school for exposing her to the "N" word at the tender age of 9. The defendant was the school stating they let teachers have free reign and if the teacher deemed it necessary, she could teach a Civil Rights unit that included the word.
The discussion and arguments both among the crowd and in the fictional case, of which was filmed, were varied. As for the film, it came down to whether or not the 9-year old had been harmed by the word and whether or not the school should be held accountable. Some good points were made in that parents should have some say, especially black parents, over when their children learn such terminology and by what means. The issue of what happens when it's taken outside the classroom also arose.
The discussion amongst the crowd at the Apollo turned from the use of the "N" word in the case to the use of the "N" word in general. There were a slightly surprising amount of people, all men I might add, who felt it was socially acceptable to call another black man the "N" word if it came from a place of love and fraternity. The comedian Touré and Dr. Jeff Gardere, a male psychologist, were two of the biggest proponents of this use. The majority of those on the opposite end of this argument, admittedly myself included, felt the word is totally unacceptable and should not be used in any context.
Some thought since the world proliferates in popular music today we should let it be. Others were taken with the idea of only blacks using it with other blacks. One comment in particular that was made by a seemingly ill-informed DJ and radio host stated that because he's West Indian, he does use the word but his people didn't experience slavery so it doesn't mean the same thing to him. The uproar that ensued after that statement was interesting. Personally, it discredited everything he said afterward which wasn't much. I'm not West Indian and as such don't claim to be knowledgeable about the slave trade in that area of the world, but I do at least know it was horrific and I am aware that it happened. One of the speakers, Professor Sterling of the Black Studies department at City College, made an excellent point when she asked a simple question. "Why that word?" Why could not another word be used? My brother? My friend? Fam? Homie? Playboy? Gangsta? The person's actual name? Any of those are acceptable but not, the "N" word. This segued into a discussion on whether or not the word has been reclaimed as well as it's use among other communities. No, if you're white or any other color besides black, you should not use this word. But in the same vein, I don't believe you should use it if you're black either. I also have to disagree with the posited idea the "N" word has been reclaimed. Negative. False. Absolutely untrue. It's similar to the word "bitch." It's a very hard task and you're always going to have someone attempting and succeeding to use it in a derogatory manner and revert it back to it's basest form.
One comment in particular that had even me up in arms and screaming was stated by a young black man. The following is a paraphrasing of what he said, unfortunately his last comments were completely lost on everyone because we were all loudly informed him he was incorrect:
"You let people call you black, you let them call you African-American. How is being called the "N" word any different?"
As if the Black Panther/Black Pride movement never took place reclaiming the word. That gentleman could not have been more wrong. The "N" word has so much more of a negative meaning, a negative connotation, both insidious and blatantly terrible condescension attached.
Another argument by Dr. Gardere was also pushed to the fore was one of self-hate as a personal reason for why the word is unacceptable to some. I don't believe I have an ounce of self-hate. Do I doubt, do I question, do I internalize and over-think everything I do? Yes. I have no problem admitting this. But I've worked hard to overcome the issues I had as a young, black girl growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood, at predominantly white schools, and in predominantly white churches (until high school). I now fully embrace and accept my blackness. As DeRay McKesson tweets daily, "I love my blackness and yours," and think of it as a phenomenal affirmation. What I do hate is everything that word stands for. I can't stand to hear it used and if someone uses it in reference to me, things escalate at an accelerated rate. Not to mention the fact that I've had a personal experience with the word. It was directed at me, at the ripe, though not terribly young, age of 15 while walking in the neighborhood I'd grown up in since I was 6. That experience however, has no bearing on my use, or lack thereof, of the word though another audience member tried to say that was their reasoning behind not minding the use of the word. Personal experience or not, I simply do not wish to be mentioned in the same breath as something that stands for slavery, hate, the misuse and distrust of black people, the immediate stereotyping and categorization of such a colorful and dynamic race, the belittling and assumption of a lack of intelligence, willpower and know-how, and the blatant disrespect that are all attached to that one little 6-letter word.
The conclusion of the case was that though the parents had the right to be upset about the word being taught to their daughter without their consent, there was no physical harm visibly done to the child.
However the takeaway from the event on the whole is equally as strong and telling as this fictional case. Sticks and stones may break your bones, but you're not safe from words either.
CLICK HERE >> This is a link for more events slated for the 2016-17 season at the Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY.
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