Can I Ask A Question?
The other night I attended a Childish Gambino concert at Madison Square Garden and yes it was as incredible as it sounds. I still had the pink braids and looked fresh to death if I do say so myself.
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| Shirtless as usual |
I attended solo and while in the stands waiting for an auditory orgasm, a young lady who appeared to be of Caucasian descent standing next to me complimented my hair. That was a rampant occurrence because people like to comment on interesting/oddly colored hair. But she then started to ask about care and I politely answered as one does when you’re a woman of color who gets randomly questioned about her hair. No, it does not hurt. Yes, I’ve been doing it all my life. Yes, it takes a long time. Yes, it’s worth it. No, I don’t typically repeat colors because I have issues with repeating things even if I like them. Yes, I love it too. We both turned back to the music, amicably content with the exchange we took part in.
A while later, Gambino was being his audacious little self on stage, yelling the “N” word as he is wont to do, and concert girl turns to me again. This time, I knew what was coming before she even opened her mouth.
“Can I ask you a question?” she said. “Does it bother you?” And I KNEW what she was saying but I was in a feisty enough mood to not feed it to her. “Does what bother me?” I responded. The young lady gesticulated while saying, “When white people repeat it, the ‘N’ word...” And while a moment before I was enjoying the concert, in that moment, my ears got hot. “Yes. A lot. Absolutely.” Was my immediate response. “Just because an artist says it doesn’t mean it’s okay to be repeated.” And she said, “I think it’s because we all just sing out like we’re singing in our cars...”
and that was when I had to exit the conversation.
What I did not do was pay to come to a concert with the intention of explaining why it’s not okay for any person who is not of African-American descent to repeat the “N” word. I’m not even comfortable with us using it but that’s a different story. What I will not do is explain to a seemingly intelligent woman why it’s not even okay for you to be screaming out that word when you’re alone in your car. It promotes familiarity and the “N” word is something you as a non-Black person should never become comfortable with.
It is wildly unacceptable for you to say that word, even if it’s in a song. Even if it’s your favorite song by your favorite artist and you’re at a concert and it just slipped out like your tongue was walking on a banana peel. The answer is still and will always be a solid “no.” To simplify it further, it’s because of the word’s origins. The fact that it was used to further subjugate African-Americans during slavery and perpetuated pre-Emancipation stereotypes into the 20th century and beyond is reason enough. The fact that it carries so much weight alone should make you uncomfortable.
Not to mention the fact that frankly, just because I’m nice does not mean I’m in the mood to educate you. Knowledge-production and consciousness-raising can be exhausting and on a night “off” while at a concert, I’d rather not have to again pick up the mantle. **We must remind ourselves we are allowed to put it down.** Even if you’ve “never had someone to ask before,” as she apparently didn't, what makes you think I am suddenly that person when you’ve never seen me before in your life? I understand you’re looking for information and want to understand experiences outside of your own and that is truly wonderful BUT that question was some white audacity if I’ve ever seen it.
Next time, let me enjoy the concert. Google it boo.
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