Grief is like…

Grief is like... a revolving door 

One moment you’re fine

The next you’re in tears, snot-nosed and wheezing 

Then you have the audacity to feel fine again,

Mere moments later

As a result, sad and slow music is on repeat

Then somehow, suddenly, you’re okay again

But it feels short-lived

Grief is like... walking a tightrope

You do your best to stay upright don't see it coming but suddenly you're tipping over

And now it's all you have to meet your regular obligations

You must now exert energy to simply appear better outwardly than you feel

Sometimes you even forget to eat during the day

One meal + some snacks per day becomes your goal

One moment you’re laughing and enjoying life 

The next you want nothing more than to crawl into bed and stay there for a millennia 

Grief is like... the ocean

It becomes increasingly harder to leave the house

Your depression comes and it goes 

As it pleases

And in waves of absurd size 

You know exactly what it is that would make you feel better

But you also actively do not want to do it 

Or anything 

But watch horror movies, curled up on the sofa with the love of your life (your cat)

Work becomes meaningless (another email... for what reason??)

People attempt to cheer you up but it’s fleeting 

It usually just makes you cry more

Grief is like... fog

You can operate while it's present

But it makes its presence known

Continually

It's heavy

And resting on you

Prevalent

Grief is like... a lightswitch

Except someone else is controlling it

You can't see them

You can't influence them in any way

So you try your best to go about your life

And some days, you're fine, good, back to normal almost

When the switch is on, it's on…

And things are not good 

And you find yourself crying

Often

And randomly

But when the switch is off, it's nice

Grief is like a veil.

Grief is like a wet overcoat. It hangs on you.

Grief is like time passing, constant.

Grief is like a shapeshifter.

This is what I am learning. 

Xx