You Like Older Men?

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Earlier today, I had "an experience" and I feel all types of ways about it.

I was on my way to church just minding my own business, nothing to see here. I get on the train and see a seat available next to this older gentleman. I thought about just standing but he moved over to make room for me so I sat. He then began talking to me, asking me where am I going, telling me he's going to the library... It was fine until he said I should come with him sometime and we should get iced coffee. Everything before he spoke those words led me to assume he was just talking because he was old and semi-cute. After the iced coffee date remark, I knew some cute old man was not what I was dealing with. He asked me, "You like older men?" To which I promptly responded, "No." He said he knew he was older but he thinks he looks very young. So young, in fact, that if he shaved off his full beard and mustache, he would look like a teenager and did I want him to do this? This man was close to 70 if not already passed it. I'd never really started to but now definitely stopped responding to him and began to wonder why on Earth this was happening to me on this particular day? The man then proceeded to offer me one of the 3 bracelets he was wearing, right off his arm. Naturally, and yet again, I told him no. Not only was he a stranger, it also was not a cute bracelet he offered. Silver has never been my metal of choice. He had the audacity to respond, "Why? Don't be rude."

I nearly did a double-take. Not only is this man making this train ride one of the most awkward and uncomfortable rides of my entire life, he had the nerve to call out my supposed "lack of manners" in not accepting the benevolent gift he spontaneously decided to offer me. SIR. I do not know you. I do not want to. Why would I accept anything from you? Who are you to tell me I'm "rude"? According to what standards? Do you do this with other girls? Do they accept the ugly bracelet? Is it out of fear and/or discomfort and they're just trying to make the situation come to an end as soon as possible?

The fact that men of all ages feel it is completely acceptable to approach women, in this manner, at any time, both infuriates and confuses me. I've never been comfortable with getting hit on by strangers but it's worse when it's from a man who is 3+ times your age. It just goes to show you, this mentality of you have the ability to woo a woman on site, day or night, of any age, not taking into consideration that this woman may not at all be interested in your proposition, is ingrained from childhood. Men like this don't realize, or don't care to realize, just how uncomfortable these situations make us as women feel. Wondering if you should get up or just stay there and grin and bear it? But what if he takes that as encouragement and pursues the conversation further? You were just minding your own business and now you have to deal with this. This should not be a part of a woman's every day life. In fact, it's deplorable. Men need to realize what they're doing and make a conscientious effort to stop. I'm not saying don't speak, I'm saying don't come on so strong the woman becomes uncomfortable and unsure of what to do. Don't be abrasive about it. If she doesn't respond positively and you can see she isn't interested, move on. Let it go. You'll be just fine. Why are you still trying to convince her after 5 solid minutes of ridiculous and annoying chatter? Ingrain in your sons from a young age the need and necessity to respect women at all costs. Don't come on to her so strong that you become overbearing. Learn to respect that "no" means "no" means "no" means "no." It doesn't mean "maybe," it doesn't mean "sort of," it doesn't mean "convince me." It means "no." Period. Have the decency to respect a woman who is asserting her right to decline and her polite attempts to end the conversation. She might never have wanted to talk to you in the first place so go on about your day.

We as women should not have to get used to being cat-called and hit on inappropriately. We should not have to be conscious of what we're wearing and where we're going and how many men are on the street in front of us that we're going to have to walk past. We should not simply brush it off when someone tells you about their uninvited flirting experience and say, "Well, you know, that happens..." Yes, but it shouldn't. I don't want to have to teach my future daughter how to navigate her way through these conversations so she can exit them with as little damage as possible while giving out no personal information whatsoever. We should not be able to answer "middle school" or "6th grade" or any age at all when people ask how old we were when this first happened to us.

This is unacceptable and should not be stood for in any way, shape, or form. It's infuriating and I hate it with every atom in my body.

The man on the train kept jabbering on and I just sat there in disbelief. At one point he mentioned Gatorade, another time he said something about drinking the night before.

He waved at me as he got off the train and I've never wanted to do a praise dance more.